So, for anyone that doesn't understand the random acronyms I use... here's a list.
wtf - what the f^&*
ptfo - pass the f^&* out
tbqh - to be quite honest
idk - i don't know
lol - i never use this. it looks like a drowning man
nbd - no big deal. usually used in the case of extreme sarcasm
btw - by the way
if anyone has any other questions, i'll update this. haha. <3
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The terrible horrible no good very bad day.
The first of December in Pennsylvania. Supposed to be filled with snow and cheer and Christmas tidings of joy, right? Ha. Apparently not here. Instead of looking like a Winter Wonderland, it instead looked like this:
I'm not kidding. For about 6 hours, campus looked like a huuuuge monsoon monster had swallowed it up. I mean, while I was walking to my 9:30 biology class, I seriously expected a whale to swim up next to the road and swallow me like Jonah. After biology, it wasn't any better. Actually.... It was worse. The trees were crying in pain from being so bent over from the wind.
So, not only was the weather crappy today, but so is my health. Health services told me that I had mono... two weeks before finals. Great, eh? every now and then it's like i'm hit in the head with a brick and just ptfo.
(for those that are completely technologically unsavvy and have no idea about any acronyms, go here.)
anyway. monsoon season in Etown is not fun. I want snow. But even if there was snow, i couldn't play in it because i could rupture a kidney, spleen, liver... idk something like that. Well.
I should probably go study for chemistry.
I'm not kidding. For about 6 hours, campus looked like a huuuuge monsoon monster had swallowed it up. I mean, while I was walking to my 9:30 biology class, I seriously expected a whale to swim up next to the road and swallow me like Jonah. After biology, it wasn't any better. Actually.... It was worse. The trees were crying in pain from being so bent over from the wind. So, not only was the weather crappy today, but so is my health. Health services told me that I had mono... two weeks before finals. Great, eh? every now and then it's like i'm hit in the head with a brick and just ptfo.
(for those that are completely technologically unsavvy and have no idea about any acronyms, go here.)
anyway. monsoon season in Etown is not fun. I want snow. But even if there was snow, i couldn't play in it because i could rupture a kidney, spleen, liver... idk something like that. Well.
I should probably go study for chemistry.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The HOW TO: of the day. :)
Today's topic:
HOW TO: Decide if someone is worth being your friend:
1. They don't insult you.
2. They like the same things that you do.
3. They dislike the same things that you do.
4. They understand where you're coming from on a situation.
5. If they by chance don't understand, they care enough to WANT to understand, and ask you to explain again and again until they do.
6. They want to spend time with you.
7. They let you have time to spend with your other friends.
8. They aren't too controlling.
9. They are willing to compromise on anything that you don't agree on.
10. They don't consciously pick fights with you.
11. They don't try to get you to change your mind about something by prying and prodding and pushing.
12. They can talk to you about nothing for as long as you want them to.
13. They know you. Like, REALLY know you.
14. They'd practically take a bullet for you.
15. They accept you for who you are, all of your faults, imperfections, mistakes and achievements, not because of what your name is, or what you've done, but the kind of person life has made you.
My roommate, and new-found best friend, fits into all these categories. I'm so happy that I met her, and I know that my college life won't be so scary, because she feels the same way that I do about almost everything. She's a great person, and already, she's helped me get through quite a bit. I'm really not scared for Elizabethtown, and I really hope she isn't either. It's gonna be a great year.
<3
HOW TO: Decide if someone is worth being your friend:
1. They don't insult you.
2. They like the same things that you do.
3. They dislike the same things that you do.
4. They understand where you're coming from on a situation.
5. If they by chance don't understand, they care enough to WANT to understand, and ask you to explain again and again until they do.
6. They want to spend time with you.
7. They let you have time to spend with your other friends.
8. They aren't too controlling.
9. They are willing to compromise on anything that you don't agree on.
10. They don't consciously pick fights with you.
11. They don't try to get you to change your mind about something by prying and prodding and pushing.
12. They can talk to you about nothing for as long as you want them to.
13. They know you. Like, REALLY know you.
14. They'd practically take a bullet for you.
15. They accept you for who you are, all of your faults, imperfections, mistakes and achievements, not because of what your name is, or what you've done, but the kind of person life has made you.
My roommate, and new-found best friend, fits into all these categories. I'm so happy that I met her, and I know that my college life won't be so scary, because she feels the same way that I do about almost everything. She's a great person, and already, she's helped me get through quite a bit. I'm really not scared for Elizabethtown, and I really hope she isn't either. It's gonna be a great year.
<3
Monday, August 9, 2010
songs can be an inspiration.
You know that song, scars by papa roach? well, the lyrics are "i tear my heart open, i sew myself shut, and my weakness is that I care too much. My scars remind me that the past is real; I tear my heart open just to feel."
This is me. I care about people way too much, and i care what people think way too much. I have self esteem problems because i'm by no means perfect, and i don't know how to fix it. but really, how is that any different than the classic lower class girl going to a private college next year? I'm terrified. I mean, I broke up with my boyfriend a bit ago, and I still ask myself, Hmmm, maybe I should call him to see how he's doing. But, then I realize. if i were to call him, he'd think OMG IT'S MICHELLE WOOOOOOOT. and i wouldn't want to lead him on. I wonder if he's really broken up about it, or if he was actually just like, "ohh, i expected this, and i was gonna do it before you went to college anyway" like he said. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but i guess friendships just don't work after relationships. And, that's not the first time i'd experienced that, either. i'm done with dating friends. maybe being just friends is better anyway..
I really don't understand guys. at all. Like, okay here's a simple illustration. I've heard many guys say that being a slut isn't attractive, but at the same time, i know guys that have broken up with girls because they don't want to have sex. Is there really a middle ground? and how the hell do you explain that? like, OH, one time with one guy is okay... but any more than that isn't. and if you do, then you're a slut and no one likes you. suuure. whatever. I just don't get it. Honestly, i don't think i ever will.
Anyway. my original point to this post. Is there anything wrong with caring too much? with worrrying about what your ex feels like after you break up with them? i mean, i would much rather have someone break up with me. that way, i know they're happier with someone else, and i can get over it easier. but, if i break up with them... then i never know. and. it realy hurts.. :-\
UGh. i hate this part.
This is me. I care about people way too much, and i care what people think way too much. I have self esteem problems because i'm by no means perfect, and i don't know how to fix it. but really, how is that any different than the classic lower class girl going to a private college next year? I'm terrified. I mean, I broke up with my boyfriend a bit ago, and I still ask myself, Hmmm, maybe I should call him to see how he's doing. But, then I realize. if i were to call him, he'd think OMG IT'S MICHELLE WOOOOOOOT. and i wouldn't want to lead him on. I wonder if he's really broken up about it, or if he was actually just like, "ohh, i expected this, and i was gonna do it before you went to college anyway" like he said. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but i guess friendships just don't work after relationships. And, that's not the first time i'd experienced that, either. i'm done with dating friends. maybe being just friends is better anyway..
I really don't understand guys. at all. Like, okay here's a simple illustration. I've heard many guys say that being a slut isn't attractive, but at the same time, i know guys that have broken up with girls because they don't want to have sex. Is there really a middle ground? and how the hell do you explain that? like, OH, one time with one guy is okay... but any more than that isn't. and if you do, then you're a slut and no one likes you. suuure. whatever. I just don't get it. Honestly, i don't think i ever will.
Anyway. my original point to this post. Is there anything wrong with caring too much? with worrrying about what your ex feels like after you break up with them? i mean, i would much rather have someone break up with me. that way, i know they're happier with someone else, and i can get over it easier. but, if i break up with them... then i never know. and. it realy hurts.. :-\
UGh. i hate this part.
Apparently I fail at blogging.
So, maybe this whole blogging thing wasn't the best thing for me. I obviously am not dedicated, or at least as much as other people. Yeah, it's fun and everything. But let's face it: I'm just an average 19ish year old girl that likes to spew emotion through articulations. I am warning you. This is probably considered a huuuuge pity party in like, 12 different english-speaking countries. And if it could/can be translated, probably even more than that. Oh well, if you're still reading this, then I suppose you're game. Here goes:
I watched Zoolander the other day. It's really a great movie... Stupid, but great. I thoroughly recommend it. Anyway, as I'm sitting in my friend Casey's house, and we're watching this movie, I can't help but thinking to myself.. when the main character (a male model for those who have never seen it) says, "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" This really sparked a thought.. Now, I'm not necessarily talking about being good looking, but to a male model, that's what matters. Like, if I were to phrase that, it would be, have you ever wondered if there was more to life than singing and playing guitar? or loving science? or helping people? Like, it's actually pretty profound when you think about it. There's gotta be more to this life. I've got to be missing something. I've got religion, don't try to tell me GOD IS THE WAY and then thump a bible on my head; i'll just punch you in the face. Trust me. I'm serious. And, I keep thinking to myself... What am I really good at? What is my passion? What the hell am I on earth for? Honestly, I think everyone has to go through this stage in his or her life, but seriously? at 19? really? I think about everything that I am good at, and then I go to show someone what I'm good at, and they end up saying, Oh, look at her, she's better at singing, or Look at him! he's so awesome at playing guitar! Oh that girl is the bessttt at soccer! Dude, i wish i could be like HIM. and I think, woah. No one ever says that about me. About anything. I mean, i'm not trying to say that I should be recognized by any means. I'd rather stay out of the spotlight for the most part. but still...
Tonight I went out with my friends to go to the movies. I had a great time, except for one little teensy weensy little thing. One of the guys I went with I really liked. Yep. Not afraid to admit it. Problem? yeah. He had no idea. and I wanted to tell him, i REALLY did, but whenever I'd go to tell him, he'd be like, soooooo.. suppp? to one of the other people I was with. Andddddd, when he wasn't, I lost my nerve. Silly me. Anyway. I was talking to him after the movie, and he really called me out on a lot of my problems. He said I'm dwelling on the past, and I need to not be so hard on myself. and another thing: I've got to "live with what I've got." I looked at him, and thought to myself. Shit. This kid is 2 years younger than I am... and he has major douchebag potential.. but damn, he's the first friend i've had that's actually sat me down and said that i need to fix things about myself. he's really the best friend i've ever had. or at least the best one that's walked into my life in a while.
I really believe that the things I have in life are fantastic, but I can't help but want to change everything. I feel like my life is full of regrets, bad decisions, and blame a lot of things from my childhood on myself that I know deep down weren't really my fault. Maybe I do need help. Maybe I should see someone. But all they're going to do is blame everything, every emotion, every fucked up feeling that I have all one one thing that happened a long time ago. And I know it's not that, so there's no point, right? Well. I don't know anymore. I just don't know. What I do know, is that at least now I have a way to vent. I can vent to you. I don't even know who you are, or if anyone reads this other than my mother. But. I know that some days I feel like this, pretty shitty and like the entire world is up to bat against me, but then there are amazing days that I wish would never end, because they're the days that make me feel human. Or, maybe it's the shadow that proves the sunshine. It's because of the days like today that I can really appreciate the days that are absolutely amazing. Switchfoot was right. The shadow really does prove the sunshine.
Ahh, see? I feel better already.
Well, I must get to bed.
At this point, it's almost 1 am,
and I have to work tomorrow.
Lovely.
I hope I haven't bored you with my diction...
I know it wasn't the best grammar and it kind of just appeared on the screen...
Aaaaannnyyyy way.
Goodnight. Erm. Goodmorning.
<3
I watched Zoolander the other day. It's really a great movie... Stupid, but great. I thoroughly recommend it. Anyway, as I'm sitting in my friend Casey's house, and we're watching this movie, I can't help but thinking to myself.. when the main character (a male model for those who have never seen it) says, "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" This really sparked a thought.. Now, I'm not necessarily talking about being good looking, but to a male model, that's what matters. Like, if I were to phrase that, it would be, have you ever wondered if there was more to life than singing and playing guitar? or loving science? or helping people? Like, it's actually pretty profound when you think about it. There's gotta be more to this life. I've got to be missing something. I've got religion, don't try to tell me GOD IS THE WAY and then thump a bible on my head; i'll just punch you in the face. Trust me. I'm serious. And, I keep thinking to myself... What am I really good at? What is my passion? What the hell am I on earth for? Honestly, I think everyone has to go through this stage in his or her life, but seriously? at 19? really? I think about everything that I am good at, and then I go to show someone what I'm good at, and they end up saying, Oh, look at her, she's better at singing, or Look at him! he's so awesome at playing guitar! Oh that girl is the bessttt at soccer! Dude, i wish i could be like HIM. and I think, woah. No one ever says that about me. About anything. I mean, i'm not trying to say that I should be recognized by any means. I'd rather stay out of the spotlight for the most part. but still...
Tonight I went out with my friends to go to the movies. I had a great time, except for one little teensy weensy little thing. One of the guys I went with I really liked. Yep. Not afraid to admit it. Problem? yeah. He had no idea. and I wanted to tell him, i REALLY did, but whenever I'd go to tell him, he'd be like, soooooo.. suppp? to one of the other people I was with. Andddddd, when he wasn't, I lost my nerve. Silly me. Anyway. I was talking to him after the movie, and he really called me out on a lot of my problems. He said I'm dwelling on the past, and I need to not be so hard on myself. and another thing: I've got to "live with what I've got." I looked at him, and thought to myself. Shit. This kid is 2 years younger than I am... and he has major douchebag potential.. but damn, he's the first friend i've had that's actually sat me down and said that i need to fix things about myself. he's really the best friend i've ever had. or at least the best one that's walked into my life in a while.
I really believe that the things I have in life are fantastic, but I can't help but want to change everything. I feel like my life is full of regrets, bad decisions, and blame a lot of things from my childhood on myself that I know deep down weren't really my fault. Maybe I do need help. Maybe I should see someone. But all they're going to do is blame everything, every emotion, every fucked up feeling that I have all one one thing that happened a long time ago. And I know it's not that, so there's no point, right? Well. I don't know anymore. I just don't know. What I do know, is that at least now I have a way to vent. I can vent to you. I don't even know who you are, or if anyone reads this other than my mother. But. I know that some days I feel like this, pretty shitty and like the entire world is up to bat against me, but then there are amazing days that I wish would never end, because they're the days that make me feel human. Or, maybe it's the shadow that proves the sunshine. It's because of the days like today that I can really appreciate the days that are absolutely amazing. Switchfoot was right. The shadow really does prove the sunshine.
Ahh, see? I feel better already.
Well, I must get to bed.
At this point, it's almost 1 am,
and I have to work tomorrow.
Lovely.
I hope I haven't bored you with my diction...
I know it wasn't the best grammar and it kind of just appeared on the screen...
Aaaaannnyyyy way.
Goodnight. Erm. Goodmorning.
<3
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Velcro is an awesome name for a cat.
So, today I worked a double at movie gallery. It was hell. Not even lying. I probably sat for maybe... 45 minutes out of the entire 13 hours I worked, (well, 12 technically, I had an hour break during which I sat.) and it was like, absolutely crazy in there. I had about $1100 in sales in my drawer alone, and over $3000 today in the store. It was absolutely fantastic. I really wish movie gallery would've been this busy beforeeee we started filing for bankruptcy and such. I also bought movies. lots of them. They were so cheap!! Keri (my roommate next year) and I will be stocked full of movies for the winter when we have all of our stuff done and don't want to venture out into the cold. It'll be grand.
I'm so pumped. Tomorrow marks the first day of house-sitting for friends. I basically get to stay in a huuuge house with 2 big dogs, 2 cats and 2 horses outside. It's pretty much my dream house, too. :) What's even better, Mrs. P is filling the fridge with lots of fruit and veggies and other healthy food like YOGURT and such that i can eat. :D yayy! Then, Friday is my orientation at college! I'm really psyched for taht too. Then, i get to come back and house-sit some moree. the next week is creation, and i'm dead-set on my switchfoot autographs. :D
Oh, and to explain my title. My boyfriend has a cat. It's name is Velcro. I think it's awesome. :)
<3
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
So.. Let's play catch-up.
So...I have a confession.
I kinda sorta forgot I started a blog. :(
I mean, it's not imperative to my life... and I was wondering why I was spending so much time on facebook after 11... (that's when I usually write all my blog postings) Well. That's the reason I haven't posted in almost a week and a half. I forgot my blog existed. And it's not like I haven't heard the word blog.... I READ MY MOTHER'S LATEST NAIL BLOG POST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I helped her put a translator on it because some lady in France reads her blog and she was trying to be nice and translate it for her. (She's such a nice lady, my mom.)
Anyway. Recent happenings?
Well. Let's start with the boy. My boyfriend is... well. I really don't know how to describe it. He's living in Oklahoma with his mom and step dad right now (about a 30 hour drive from me) and he went to Arkansas about 3 days after he got to Oklahoma for a family reunion. While he was there, he was almost bitten by an Agkistrodon piscivorus, or better known as a Water Moccasin, Cottonmouth, or Copperhead. Yeah. Not good news to hear over the phone. Especially when you actually hear "Hey hun, i was --- bit by a water moccasin." His phone cut out while he was telling me, and i didn't hear the oh-so-crucial word "almost." Luckily, he wasn't, and I freaked out for no reason. Next, I was with my brother, and I texted him for the fun of it. I don't have texting on my phone, but my brother has unlimited to anyone. fun stuff. :D anyway. He texted back, and he was like, Sooo... I hit a truck while I was on the bike today. I freaked out. I was like, omg are you okay?!? Let's just clear things up a bit. I'm in the middle of nowhere PA. He's in the middle of nowhere OK with a motorcycle. I really think the boy should clarify things. He was riding around the house, and he hit the tire of a parked truck. Wow. I freaked out over nothing. Again. I'm finding out that this is happening a lot. I freak out over every little thing, simply because he's not here. I feel like a cheap imitation of some novel with this girl and that hot guy that everyone's crazy about. Or something like that. (for the record, in some pictures, my boyfriend even resembles robert pattinson.) He's going to hate me for that. Luckily, I don't think he knows I have a blog. Yet. And, I don't think now is the time to tell him either. x] I'm so evil.
Okay, in earlier posts, I wasn't really clear about the whole, brother/sister situation. Legitimately, I have one half sister, Sarah, and two step sisters, whom I do not talk to. Sarah is my father's second child, and she's nine years younger than me. She was born about 4 months after our father passed away. I love her to death, and she reminds me so much of me and Daddy, it's crazy. Brother, on the other hand, is a more complicated story. Zach is honestly just my really close friend. He practically resided at my house while my mom was really sick with stage 2 Hodgkin's Disease, and he helped me get through a lot of tough situations. He really does mean the world to me, and I'm not sure he knows that. I call him my brother because the bond between us is soo much more than just friends, it truly is like a sibling that I've had my entire life. I truly do love him. :) <3
I guess that's where i'll stop for today. i'd hate for the blog to be too long to read. ahhaa.
<3
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